Sunday, October 11, 2009

oh yes, I know I've hardly been blogging lately...

I can't even begin to describe how weird I feel on Sunday mornings. It is the morning that I wake up the earliest in the whole week, and precisely because it is a Sunday and I know that no one else is awake that I feel absolutely blah.

I mean, not even blah. The point of this whole post is to say how weird I feel. It's the one time during my week when I absolutely HATE my life. From 6:40-7:40 am-ish. I wake up and I think, "argh..." and then as the morning continues and I realize how dark and lonely everything is, I think, "why the heck am I doing this?! I hate my job!"

But of course I don't hate my job! Every other hour of the week I love it and I feel SO blessed!

But I think the strangest things, like about how I just want to die because life is so horrible and dark!

And sometimes (like this morning,) it lasts even longer, even until 8 or 9 am until I start to fully wake up. I play through the first Mass, just like,...totally....blah.

But really, the problem? Wintertime. Waking up without a single fleck of light in the sky. Oh it's awful. And I guess I should compare myself to other more normal working people, who wake up that early *every morning* of the work week, but, I just can't help but thinking, "woe is me...boo hoo..."

and so that is what this entry is about!

1 comment:

Paul said...

a) Keep up the good work - what you do is a blessing to the Church!

b) One of your favorite bishops will be in town this coming Saturday afternoon/evening to officially install Fr. Bill as pastor. (Sadly, since this was decided about last Wednesday, our parish's organist will be away for a concert that has been scheduled for months...)