so I've read all of these church documents, once or twice, and I know it says somewhere, you know, such and such a thing about what we should or shouldn't do, but you know, whenever I really need that knowledge, I can't remember where it's from, and then I'm just spouting off show-off-y nonsense!
It happened recently, that a priest was visiting, and I sort of wanted him to sing the "Through him..." part, so we could sing the Amen, and he was kind of like, "oh I probably won't..." Which was fine, and so we didn't sing it.
but... I wish that at times like those I could explain myself a little better, and then when they're like, "huh? what are you talking about?" I could be like, "well, in such-and-such a document it says..."
I think I'm afraid of even beginning those conversations unless I am fully prepared in advance. Because otherwise I know that I will end up saying something like, "well, uh, I know that somewhere it says something about why it's important for the priest to sing certain parts..." And yeah, like, no one is going to listen to that.
But is it pride? either that I want to be able to show off my knowledge, or that I don't want to be embarrassed if I can't properly quote something? hm. no...rather, just that I want to be able to make a proper case for my point, really, I want to have things done *right!*
just ramblings, I don't really have time to go into more detail, I'm off to bed. Don't read into that too much, either; no, I'm not off to change the world and prove everyone wrong at every possible opportunity! I'm just thinking...
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